Back in the summer of 2009 (I know, that’s like a REALLY long time ago), Casey told me I needed a blog. I didn’t agree. Then eventually we came up with a blog. Something that people may not know about me is I have gone by 2 names over the past 10 years: T.J. and Tim.  All my new friends called me T.J. while my family and old So Cal friends called me Tim.

Well, I’m to the point where more people know me as T.J. than know me as Tim. But since Casey was the blog creator, we went with timtypes.wordpress.com and Timothy Types TMI as the blog title. Recently, I’ve changed it to T.J. Types TMI, but I can’t change the domain very easily. So I still get the occasional “Tim” comment. I don’t mind, but it really just isn’t the name I’m accustomed to seeing and have it be associated to me.

To be honest, my dad even calls me T.J. now (random bit of trivia, he was the first to call me T.J. when I was born, but only my mother’s father called me T.J. after I was 1 until he died when I was 11.) After my dad got remarried, I was surprised at the fact that his wife as well as my step-siblings were all introduced to me with my name being T.J. When I asked him when he started calling me T.J., his wife asked “What else would he call you?” Apparently, I’d always been T.J. to her.

Well, anyway, I’ve recently decided to move this blog to another wordpress site that’ll hopefully be easier to locate. The address is: http://tjbronley.wordpress.com. But, my favorite part about it is what the sites name is. No, it has nothing to do with my name. But click on it and you’ll see a fairly familiar phrase for those who follow my blog regularly. So, starting in September, I’ll be blogging from there. Until then….

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

Life has been busy. First, the month of July was met with my wife’s family reunion and joining my dad, his wife, and my step-sister and her family at Disneyland. (Spoiler alert: Disneyland is still awesome.) Plus, I had a lot of other things going on in July that involved video games. August has also had video games taking up time. But both July and August have been busy with work and…well…work. I haven’t even had time to work on my book.

Not like that would matter much though since I technically lost it. What does that mean? Well, it means that I own a flash drive and it is nowhere to be found. On that flash drive are so many files that I’ve put a lot of hours working on. It has all the versions of my Eli story on it. The one saving grace is I still have a full printout of the entire book (which will require a massive amount of transcribing). Also, I have the first 30 pages I sent to writing buddy Graham Bradley with his snide comments.

The strange thing was, I didn’t seem to care nearly as much as I thought I would. Yeah, it really does suck. But I’ve been very unmotivated in writing. Last year at this time I was stressed with trying to get Eli ready for submissions. And really, it took a full rewrite between then and now to make it 10x better than it was. And somehow, I’ve lost all writing motivation.

One problem I’ve had is I’ve been distracted by a lot. See, a few months ago, Netflix added The True Story of Wrestlemania and a few other WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment, former World Wrestling Federation) “shows” to watch in their instant stuff. I bet a lot of you have said “wrestling is stupid.” And you know what, I’ve said it too. Guess what, I still say it. But I’m addicted to it again.

Another addiction is my friend Andrew introducing me to this game called Terraria. It’s awesome. At least, it is to me.

But with all that said, I feel an end of my writing break coming. I’ve been met with looking at different stories I’ve wanted to write. Part of me wants to give up on Eli. But part of me says that he just needs a refresher and it’ll be even better. Either way, I’ll get there. Lately, I’ve felt very disorganized with everything and I need to do some personal organization of my life. Once I get things in order, I will be back on my blog more, bringing you hilarious mashups shared between Casey and I, random 10 things that hopefully have something to do with one another, and of course, the most random topics I can come up with.

Before I sign off, let me tell you about 2 books I’m excited about:

The Eleventh Plague by Jeff Hirsch: The link you get with the book’s title will take you to a special 4-chapter sneak peak at the book. And when you’re done with chapter 4, you’re going to want more. Seriously, took me less than 30 minutes to read the whole thing and I’m a slow reader. I love the cover, to begin with. And even better, I loved what I was introduced to.

And of course….

Variant by Robison Wells: Yes, everyone whose known me over the past few years has watched my fanboy status change from one a-maze-ing author to this guy. Besides being awesome (which is how he introduced me to Sara Crowe at Storymakers back in May), he’s an awesome author. Okay, I haven’t read this book. But I’ve read the first page or two and that was enough to make me want to steal the book and miss the movie. (Glad I didn’t though.)

Currently: I’m attempting to read Catching Fire at home and I Don’t Want to Kill You by Dan Wells while I work out. I’m failing on all accounts, but I’ll get there eventually. I still have Possession by awesomesauce Elana Johnson to read.

What have you been up to?

I guess this blog is long enough….so until next time….

ALIEN ABDUCTIONS ARE INVOLUNTARY, BUT PROBINGS ARE SCHEDULED.

Help Tristi celebrate her new novel in two ways.First, come participate in the two-week-long blog contest, where you can win a book nearly every single day!All the details are up on Tristi’s blog.

Second, come to the book launch!

You are invited to an

August Authorama!

Saturday, August 13th

Pioneer Book, 858 S. State, Orem

12 – 4 pm

Games, prizes, balloons, face painting,

and Dutch oven cobbler

prepared by world champion cook

Keith Fisher.

Authors Tristi Pinkston, J. Lloyd Morgan, Cindy Hogan,

Nichole Giles, and Heather Justesen

will all be there to sign books.

This is one book launch event

you will not want to miss!

First, I am studying for my CMA exam (Certified Management Accountant, for the majority of the world, which doesn’t have any clue what that is). So, in studying, there is an extreme lack of writing/editing time.

Second, I’m doing what I can to remain active on Twitter. If you miss my awesomeness, please go visit me on Twitter and breath again since I’m there far too often.

Third, my beautiful and awesome wife gave me a great t-shirt yesterday, which reads, “TO START LET’S JUST ASSUME I’M NEVER WRONG.” This goes well with my “DO NOT START WITH ME, YOU WILL NOT WIN” t-shirt. Of course, my Big Dogs shirt of “HOW’S MY ATTITUDE? DIAL 1-800-BITEME” is always a winner. I still miss my shirt that said “I’M NOT SAYING YOU’RE DUMB, IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING.” If I was really popular and published and semi-untouchable, I’d wear these shirts to writers conferences. I’d even convince my wife that I need an “I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER” t-shirt.

Fourth, I’ve been spending free time playing Magic with my best friend Andrew. It’s nice to have an addiction that someone close by can help me feed. And you know what that does for me? Gives me story ideas. One day, I’ll have a really good one from these random cards.

Fifth, I had a weird dream last night where Casey‘s husband and I were getting ready for a double-date with our wives. And then I woke up creating a story about time-travelers unraveling in my head. I think I may have to start jotting down notes.

Sixth, I have been in a lot of pain lately in my right arm. I may have carpal tunnel. Getting a test for that today. Wish me luck. (UPDATE: Not carpal tunnel. Something called ulnar tunnel is high possibility.)

Seventh, I am not really certain what my writing future holds.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

(Artwork by Graham Bradley)

In the city of Ferrerton, there ruled an evil empire run by Boogey Lowerbrow, leader of the Clowns. With their master thievery and ability to torture their victims, Boogey maintained control of Ferrerton. One of his minions was elected mayor. Three of the five city council members worked for him. Ferrerton’s five biggest businesses were owned by Boogey.

The clowns and their big, creepy smiles were everywhere. With the ability to fit 10 of them in a VW Bug, it was difficult to catch them. Even members of Ferrerton’s PD were corrupt.

And that brings us to today, a usual city council meeting, where Jen Amazing and T.J. Powers prepare themselves to lose another vote. This was an important vote as it would make sure that the Clowns’ bozo businesses would have to pay more taxes that Jen and T.J. have commissioned would go to the failing elementary schools. (Yes, they’re that heroic.)

The meeting begins like any other. Mayor Fanklestein (Lowebrow’s right-hand man) bangs his rubbery gavel, making it squeak against the desk.

Ugh, he’s so annoying, Jen thinks. If he would stop pretending he’s not linked to the creepy Clowns, he’d at least be semi-tolerable. Look at him with that ridiculous “child-at-his-own-birthday-party” attitude. It’s like this is all a game to him.

“Let’s get this meeting under way. The budget, of course, is the most important part of today’s meeting.”

The mayor’s squeaky voice annoyed T.J. I wonder if the mayor ever actually hit puberty. He smiled at his own joke. With a pen in hand, he doodled lines. It was the only way to relieve the boredom. Just ten more weeks until the election. I can get voted out and leave Ferrerton.

The mayor looked around at the red-nosed filled room. “Do any of those in attendance have an objection to the proposed changes in Ferrerton’s annual budget?”

The room was silent.

Mayor Fanklestein looked to the back of the room, Lowerbrow sat there and nodded approval.

Ugh, Jen thought. Seriously, Lowerbrow’s fake tear on his cheek is about as useful as this meeting.

The Mayor looked around at the five city councilmembers. “Do any of you have anything to say against this budget?”

“Yes,” Jen said. The room got loud with honking of noses and squeaking of toy horns. “I have…I HAVE….I HAVE AN ISSUE HERE!!!!”

No one seemed to be listening.

T.J. leaned into his microphone, “Could you quiet down, please?”

Again, no one was listening.

I give up. Jen leaned back in her chair. The room got quiet as soon as Jen stopped talking. “I think that-”

The noise in the room prevented her from speaking any more.

A sword flew from the back of the room, landing behind the mayor, silencing the room.

In the back doorway stood three people, dressed in black, their faces covered.

Mayor Fanklestein unnecessarily banged his squeaky gavel. “Who are you?”

“For all intents and purposes, I am Oop, leader of the Ninjas.” Oop gestured to the people standing behind him. “These are my assistants: Elana Awesomesauce and Graham Chop.”

“What do you want?” The fear on the mayor’s voice made Jen and T.J. both smile.

“For you to make Councilwoman Amazing’s corrections to the budget.”

The whole congregation stood, save Lowerbrow. Flowers started squirting water toward the ninjas. Oop drew a sword from his behind his back, using it as a shield against the annoying water. Elana and Graham each pulled out a pair of sais and stood at the ready. Fake fish flew at the ninjas, Oop’s cohorts slashed the fish.

Elana and Graham leapt into the crowd as the clowns pulled out their large mallets, no longer playing nice.

All three ninjas made their way toward the front of the room, a few of the clowns not surviving the attack.

Mayor Fanklestein banged his gavel. “Meeting adjourned.”

His three favored councilmembers fled quickly. But before the mayor could leave the room, Oop stood before him. “It would be good for your health if you were to start this meeting again and announce your resignation.”

Fanklestein looked back into the crowd, Lowerbrow standing with his arms folded. As he unfolded his arms, T.J. shouted a warning to Oop as a pair of pistols were aimed at the ninjas’ leader.

A sai flew across the room as more clowns dispersed like cockroaches around a freshly lit lamp. It hit Lowerbrow’s hand, knocking one of the clown’s guns to the ground.

“This isn’t over,” Lowerbrow said. He pulled a pom from his shirt and threw it against the ground. Fanklestein did the same. Smoke expanded around them. As it cleared, they were gone.

“What are you doing here?” Jen said. “Don’t worry, I think retaliation against the clowns is necessary, but do you have to go to such violent extremes?”

Oop nodded. “No.” He looked around the room, a few dead clowns littered the ground. All the rest had fled like the cowards everyone knew them to be. “But at least they know not to mess with us as we move our plan forward.”

“And what is your plan?” T.J. asked.

“To rid Ferrerton from the clowns.”

Thank you for reading Ninjas vs Clowns, part I. Look for part II next week. And until then,

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

First: A little about the Emmy winning Amazing Race. Teams of 2 (usually 11-12 of them) race around the world solving clues and arriving at pit stops with mandatory 12 hours of rest. The last team to arrive at a pit stop is out of the race. So without further ado, my awesome cast list for The Amazing Race: LDS Authors

Before we get to the teams, I’ve decided that this show needs a good host. So I’ve chosen my agented friend Graham Bradley.

1. Team Wells: Robison Wells and Dan Wells. I put them in order of first novel published. Who wouldn’t want to watch the Wells brothers sparring off with one another? Threats of demons and weird schools coming up. And they can argue on who’s the better author agented by Sara Crowe.

2. Team Short and Sweet: Sarah Eden and Annette Lyon: (Yes Sarah, there is an order here.) This is probably the fan favorite team. Sarah constantly cracking short jokes and her expense, Annette freaking out that the clues misused the phrase “Couldn’t care less”. It’d just be awesome!

3. Team Dudes: James Dashner and Jeff Savage: I really see this being the lazy team who still manages to get by. And it’d be entertaining to watch James go to Greece and see his book at the airport and stop and admire it. (Well, he may do that.)

4. Team Awesomesauce: Elana Johnson and Nichole Giles: Elana’s Possession comes out soon. Oh wait, not why I’m talking about them. Elana and Nichole are seriously two of the nicest and awesomest people I know. And how could I not include my fellow reality-show loving fan, Elana? And how could I not have a ‘Team Awesomesauce’?

5. Team No Excuse: Brandon Sanderson and Howard Tayler: This will be one of the funniest teams to watch. They’d also be a pretty strong team and would have the other contestants gunning to get rid of them quickly.

6. Team Busy Bees: Josi Kilpack and Julie Wright: These two awesome authors are just so busy that it would be funny to see them be forced to sit still at an airport (without children or spouses to be worried about).

7. Team Mysterious: Stephanie Black and Traci Abramson: Both Whitney Award nominated women. The stay at home mom and the former CIA agent. Sounds like a tv show in and of itself actually.

8. Team Man-Cave: Abel Keogh and David West: Both awesome guys. Both manly-men. (Okay, that didn’t sound awkward or anything.) But both these guys are awesome and I can see them making a great team for this faux competition.

9. Team Fergie: John Ferguson and Danyelle Ferguson: Yes, I know John isn’t really a published author. But Danyelle is and she needs a great partner. So I chose her husband John. Deal with it! Also, John is hilarious and I think it’d be funny watching him race around the world. Danyelle is also sweet enough to put up with all the shenanigans he’d try do.

10. Team Siblingesque: Don Carey and Krista Jensen: Don and Krista aren’t siblings. But they do show that they’re friends. They could tolerate each other long enough for this competition. (No, Krista isn’t published, but she is under contract. Close enough in my book.)

11. Team Random: Marion Jensen and Tyler Whitesides: I know Marion already thinks that his partner should be Matthew Buckley. But there has to be four feet running, not two in this game. These guys are random, awesome, and cool. I think that’s all I can say for this team. Both funny guys. But you know what, this would be the quietest team I bet.

So, last time, I named the final 5. This time, we’re gonna go with the final three.

And they are, in no particular order: Team Busy Bees, Team Mysterious, and Team Random! I think Busy Bees just would have the drive to get to the end. Mysterious has the intelligence factor in their favor. And Random, well, because they’re random.

And my pick for The Amazing Race: LDS Authors winner:

TEAM BUSY BEES!!!!!!

Why? I don’t see either woman ever giving up. (Not that anyone else would be giving up.) I also see them as fairly fit and ready to go on a race around the world.

Okay, that’s it. Next year, what will I come up with? You’ll have to wait and see. As always:

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

First, the M.C. was Sarah Eden. At one point, I was gonna tweet “my cheeks are hurting”. Seriously, I don’t know who they’ll get next year that could even attempt to get the crowd laughing half as much.

There were 10 breakout sessions. I did attend something during most of them.

Session #1: I went to agent Becca Stumpf’s workshop about….you know…I don’t recall it’s base topic. I tried looking it up, but it just said workshop. So I’ll go with Becca Stumpf’s workshop. It was so awesome that my brain must’ve leaked it out. Regardless, she did an awesome job at speaking to the crowd.

Session #2: I finally got to attend a  class taught by my good writing friend Annette Lyon. (Everyone knows how much I love Annette’s Chocolate Never Faileth.) Even better, I actually won a cool little notepad for not being afraid of sharing an impromptu story. Her Show, Don’t Tell class is something I’m going to need to sit and study some more.

Session #3: During the opening exercises (not sure what else to call that), I was privileged to sit at the same table as agent Sara Crowe and be introduced to her as “This is T.J. Bronley, and he’s awesome.” Yeah, I was the first person without publishing credits, but Rob Wells did boost my ego with this. This session I spent listening to Sara explain how to write succinct synopses for query letters (which is difficult to do if you’ve never done it, and even more so when you realize what you’ve written is crap.) It was probably the most informative short-synopsis-writing class I’ve ever had.

Session #4: We’ll call this nap time, in which I sat in the lobby and felt like I was ready to die. In speaking to author friend Nichole Giles later on, she used the term “overstimulated.” At this point in time of the conference, absolutely that’s how I felt. So I’ll title this “Awesome Chat w/Annette Lyon”. I’m really certain I talked to someone else, but I seriously can’t remember who.

Session #5: Rob Wells’ class on Marketing was awesome. Despite the fact that he felt like crap, he did a great job. And I can’t wait to go look up his presentation and learn from it a second time. I got to sit with Krista Jensen, who gave me the Hawaii quarter for my wife’s collection.

There was dinner. Irony: last year during the dinner I sat with two women from Colorado, Gail and Debbie. This year, I ended up sitting with them again. Of course, I know them better from being a part of the same online writing group (the awesome Authors Incognito or AI). But, I also got to sit with other people: Wendy, Tamara, Maria, Daron, and Jeff (were the names of the people at the table.) It was nice to finally meet Wendy in person. It was awesome to see Tamara again. And it was funny that at one point she said “T.J. I’m done holding my daughter, you’re a buff strong guy with bulging muscles and awesome hair, here!” (Okay, I may have said something incorrectly.) So I ended up holding a very bouncy 9-month little girl. After dinner, I attempted to attend the publisher’s meet-and-greet but was still overstimulated. I also attempted the AI mix-and-mingle, but left after about 45 minutes. I was exhausted after day 1.

Day 2 was just as awesome as day 1. Except I was freaking out with my pitch session.

Session #6: I started out in Dave Wolverton’s (aka Dave Farland) class on Worldbuilding. I was a bit of a neurotic mess with my impending pitch so I just couldn’t sit there. I kept wanting to talk to Krista (I think I sat with her the most this year) and decided I didn’t want to bug her too much. So I left. Glad I did because I ran into Lisa Mangum and was surprised to hear her book was out in paperback. So I rushed to buy it for my wife and then interrupted Lisa as she sat and listened to Marion’s class on…I don’t know what it was on. I didn’t go to pay attention. He probably doesn’t like me right now. Lisa does since I bought her book and got it signed and my wife is now done with it.

Session #7: There was a speculative fiction panel moderated by Howard Tayler with the ever awesome (and Whitney Award winning) Julie Wright, James Dashner, Dave Wolverton, and Rob Wells. In the ‘in-between-class-time’ Rob was sitting on the stand and spoke into his microphone. “Hi Krista.” She was sitting next to me so I joked with how special she was. Then he said “T.J. Bronley.” I looked at him thinking “Odd, he’s not saying hi.” Which was followed by “Can you go get me a glass of water?” So I turned to Krista and said “Sure, you get ‘hi’, I get ‘be my errand boy.’” The panel was awesome, by the way. Each of the four had some great insight into the subject of speculative fiction, each of them writing fairly different novels. (Although, if you base The Maze Runner and Variant, they kinda sound the same. But I doubt they are.)

Session #8: This was my pitch time. I’d calmed down during the speculative panel. I’m just gonna say I had a good pitch with a lot of work to do. After my pitch, I got to hear the last half of Rob Well’s Dystopian class. (Makes it sound like his class was a dystopian. Meh, not gonna change it.) Elana Johnson and Abel Keogh both gave their insights as well as Rob’s migraine made him ready to kill.

Session #9: After lunch, where I did not win the first chapter contest again, I sat in on Writing Excuses with Sara Crowe. Sara gave some good insight to her job and to what an agent (especially her) is looking for. Seriously, you can benefit a lot from listening to what an agent says about what they want.

Session #10: This can be called “T.J. is overstimulated, part II.” I just couldn’t sit through anything else. I had a great conversation with John Ferguson, though.

And after that, there was an agent/editor panel. But I still just couldn’t do it. My brain was ready to explode, I was literally exhausted. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone. (Although, I did get a message that Howard Tayler should smack me across the head for a tweet I wrote.) So, it was time to say goodbye to the building and leave. And that’s that.

Storymakers was awesome!

As always, I name a class I liked most above the rest. This year, I would have to say that it was Rob Wells’ class on marketing. It lived up to its expectations.

Until next time (a post I’m planning on calling “The Amazing Race: LDS Authors”):

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

Janette Rallison – Lady of the Bracelet: One Bracelet to Rule the Mall – It just seems to fit with her My Fair Godmother and its sequel, My Unfair Godmother. (This thought was the inspiration for this post.)

Marion Jensen – Superdad – I don’t know what he can do with it. I just think he should write it.

Julie Wright – Genre Jumping: A How-to Guide for Switching Up Your Style – Just because jumping from romance to YA-Sci-fi is about as big of a leap as it can get.

Randy Tayler – How to Lose Friends and Insult People – Why? Because. Follow him long enough on TWitter and it’d make sense. He could co-write it with this next author even. (Yes, he’s not published, that I know of, but this just fits.)

Robison Wells – Complex – What a title! What does it mean? No clue. Just like I have very little clue as to what Variant is about other than the fact that its cover is awesomesauce and its storyline is fairly mysterious.

Sarah Eden – Redheaded in England  - Of course it fits in her Regency romance genre. Some Irish chick decides to go to England. Falls in love with someone…blah blah blah. The title just suits Sarah, that’s all.

Annette Lyon – Living Without Chocolate - Our main character here is dared to go 30 days without a bite of chocolate. Oh the withdrawals! Oh the cravings! Oh how mean!

Dan Wells – You’re Bacon - Serial killer with a weird catch phrase? Instead of “you’re toast” he says “you’re bacon”. Electrocution? Whatever. Bacon and serial killers: two things Dan seems to know best.

Robison Wells and Annette Lyon – Wherefore Art Thou Migraine - A humorous look at tweets by people who want to kill someone because their head hurts so bad. (Note: Rob will take the misconceived “where” section while Annette will hit the true “why” section.)

Josi Kilpack – Chocolate Chip Cookie - Come on! It’s obvious. She’s got a tart, a trifle, a cake, a pie, a crumble, and a roll. (I also know what she’s got coming, unless she convinced someone to switch her mind.) So it’s everyone’s favorite basic dessert!

Sounds good right? Ready, write! Okay, they’re probably all yelling at me: Go EDIT!

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

You know you’re in the revision process when…

You’re reading a professionally prepared textbook and want to yell things like “Comma splice!” or “‘You’re’ not ‘Your!’”

You’re reading a non-self-published book and say “How did they miss this?”

You’re reading a self-published book and ask “Why didn’t they let me go through this with a red pen?”

You’re wanting to edit what everyone else is saying.

You go somewhere and see a sign and think “if they said ____ instead, it’d be clearer and more concise.”

It takes you five times to write a blog post because it just isn’t ‘right’.

You avoid talking to others because they know you’re in the editing process and if someone asks “how’s the editing going?” you’re afraid you’ll strangle them.

You seethe when another author says “Done!”

You close your eyes and all you see are words and commas floating around.

You do anything you can to avoid being with your manuscript.

Time to get back to editing (at some point). As always,

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

And in all honesty, this post isn’t a result of someone telling me I did this wrong. No, it’s actually my friend Rosanne suggesting that I do break the general understood ‘rule’ and go with the ‘rule of flow’ instead. In this case, my friend is right. Let me give you an example here (I’m making this up as I go along):

Bob got up from his chair and looked around at his dinner guests. “I am sure that one of you is the murderer. You have killed my butler, so I am sure that he didn’t do it. And before this evening is finished, I’m going to figure out who it is.”
In his mind, Bob saw Clay as the biggest suspect. Bob knew of Clay’s hatred toward the butler. He just wasn’t certain if Clay had a good alibi. “Clay, you hated the butler since he wouldn’t submit to your blackmail any longer. Where were you at the time that he was killed?”
(Okay, not my best work, but it hits my point.) So what is the perceived problem here? Well, I would have people tell me something like “Bob is still talking, it should all be one paragraph.” Seriously, I have gotten bitterly annoyed at anyone who has said something like that to me. Okay, I’ll admit that occasionally I have one person speak in two adjoining paragraphs that needs to be one. However, this is not a rule. If it was then there are some failed people who edited Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, The Hunger Games, The Maze Runner, Mistborn, and I can go on.

Seriously, this isn’t a rule. Why am I right here? Because Bob in my example has two completely different points. It’s like writing an English paper. If I were to talk about a murder and then talk about the murderer in the same paragraph, I would have to defend it, not the other way around. These aforementioned books do this many times. Katniss in Catching Fire speaks all the time in two adjoining paragraphs. But it seems like most people who have taken a pen to my work seem to think that I’m breaking some sacred law. No, it’s perfectly okay to split one person speaking into multiple paragraphs. I’ve seen it ALL THE TIME. I keep looking at traditionally published books and waiting for the split monologue. And you know what, I find it.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.