The One With The Hypothesis of My Sarcasm

Some days, I wish my life was like a sit-com. There are plenty of times where I regret the sarcastic thing that I just said, but on a sit-com, there is no such regret. People would just find me funny. I’ve never really met anyone who’s been my friend that got all my sarcastic remarks, including my poor wife who has to judge constantly between the 83% sarcasm, 15% sincerity, and 2% butterscotch ripple that comes from my mouth.  So I look at some of my favorite sarcastic characters from television and wonder how much I sometimes act like these characters. With no further ramblings (yeah, like I’m not going to ramble), here are the 10 characters that I view have similarities to my humor at some point in my life.

1: Chandler Bing, Friends. Any good fan of Friends sees the reference to this well-known tv show in this blog’s title. Yes, a lot of people I know have compared my sarcasm to Chandler’s. I can be quite merciless in not holding back my random comments that can get anywhere from loud laughter to an evil eye. I’ve called people so many different names it’s not really funny. And, like Chandler, I grew up being teased for random things, some I could control and others I couldn’t (height, weight, speech impediment). But, in the end, I love Chandler’s sarcasm. I think he’s funny and witty. At least, the writer’s gave him some good stuff.

2. Dr. Perry Cox, Scrubs. As before, any good fan of Scrubs recognizes the reference to this show in this post’s title. Anyway, Dr. Cox really doesn’t control his mouth sometimes. He really doesn’t care if anyone is offended by his remarks. If you don’t like them, oh well. But Dr. Cox’s sarcasm stems from a feel-good attitude. Shoot others down to feel good about yourself. Yeah, with all the self-esteem issues I dealt with and still deal with (despite what some may believe) I enjoy shooting others down for all the times I’ve been shot at with ridiculous comments. The only thing I wish I could do like good ol’ Per is to be able to call people by on-the-spot nicknames, and in the end, I love the ability to not care about what other people think, just what happens to them. Well, I do have that last part pretty good.

3. Leonard Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory. Again, there is a slight reference to my current favorite comedy in today’s title. Leonard and Penny are the best at dishing out their sarcasm, but Penny’s isn’t as interesting to me. I greatly appreciate Leonard’s ability to insult with large words in a sarcastic manner, making him the most normal of all the guys on the show. If my vocabulary were really bigger than a 10th-graders, I’d be able to get half the witty terms that that Leonard does out of my mouth.

4. Dr. Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H. No title reference here, in case you were wondering. Dr. Pierce is among my favorite characters in television history because I really enjoyed how he was able to joke about the horrible things going on around him. He defined making proverbial lemonade out of lemons. I must always remember him whenever I’m in a crappy situation that makes me want to vomit or die or poke my eyes out.

5. Marshall Eriksen, How I Met Your Mother. No title reference here, either. Yes, I know that womanizing Barney is far more sarcastic than all the other characters on this show. It is more in what he does that makes Marshall so awesome in my opinion (even though according to a tv.com poll he’s like the least liked character on most people’s lists). Marshall is able to be sarcastic in his actions. Just doing what he thinks is best for him has always worked and Marshall’s sarcasm goes with it.

6. Gilligan, Gilligan’s Island. Ok, so Gilligan isn’t really sarcastic. However, in my defense, any normal person would take Gilligan’s usual actions as sarcastic. Poor guy never caught a break no matter how kind he’d act. It reminds me of me in my more naive years.

7. Bill Pearson, The Bill Engvall Show. Yeah, he just cracks me up with his reactions to stupid people. One thing my family has in common with one another. Please, don’t be stupid around us. Most of us will want to give you a sign.

8. Garfield the cat, Garfield and Friends. Of course I’m going to put my all-time favorite animated character on this list. Lazy, monday-hating, lasagna-eating Garfield should be everyone’s favorite feline. He always is speaking his thoughts telepathically, how cool is that. I mean, seriously, when did you see Garfield’s mouth move? I didn’t. 😉

9. Onslow, Keeping Up Appearances. Yes, there are all different kinds of shows referenced on this list. Onslow has to deal with a self-centered sister-in-law that deserves a punch in the face for being such a prude and not being able to see past the point on her nose. Onslow dishes it in his British way. Oh yeah, he’s a slob with no cares for cleanliness and such which makes him that much funnier.

10. Commander William T. Riker, Star Trek: The Next Generation. To go along with my geekiness from The Big Bang Theory, Commander Riker was the only character you saw smile more than once a season. He always enjoyed playing poker, and you’ve got to be sarcastic if you’re bluffing Data. Seriously, that’s gotta be difficult to bluff an android. Regardless, I love the fact that he used some 20th century humor for this 24th century show. There really wasn’t a comic relief character on the show, but Riker was someone who was good at cracking a joke here and there.

So, let’s wrap up. We’ve got a sci-fi character, a sci-fi fan, a dimwitted shipwrecked first-mate, an animated cat, a sarcastic guy that never seems to go to work, a lawyer that acts like a child, a psychologist who needs loads of help, a lazy Brit, and 2 awesome doctors from opposite ends of the ‘crazy’ spectrum. No novel-writing accountant who can take his comments too far and get in some serious trouble one second and have a room laughing the next? Hmmmm….guess that means there’s room for me on this list 🙂

As a reminder, tune in tomorrow for the next Big Brother-VHS episode where things will get a little more interesting for those that survive this next round of voting. What will happen? Well, I’ve got to write it first, but I already know of course 🙂

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