I really like the song “Carol of the Bells”. I think the Transiberian Orchestra’s version is the best instrumental version of the song. But any traditional a capella group singing it really makes me smile more. But, there are songs at Christmas time that make me cringe when I hear them. Here today is a list of Christmas songs that I will skip on my Pandora station or change the radio dial when they come up in my car.
Winter Wonderland: Seriously! People may claim some of my other songs in this list are redundant or overplayed. But the reason they don’t think that Winter Wonderland is overplayed is because there seem to be more versions of this song than any other out there. And, the more this song is played, the more annoyed at it I get. Or the more I think of my co-worker Landon’s lyrics “Later on, by the fire, we will shed, our attire, we’ll frolic and play, the natural way, naked in a winter wonderland.” (And yes, I just posted that.)
Feliz Navidad: This is the fakest (and no, that’s not a word on WordPress) cultural Christmas song out there. All it does is repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat. Seriously, there are much more beautiful Christmas songs in Spanish out there. It’s like playing Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song stating that it’s cultural to the Jews.
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Do you remember in the mid-90s when Staples used this as a ‘back-to-school’ song and the dad is dancing around the store picking up all the various school supplies his kids will need? Notice anything wrong with this ad? I recall that in the 1990s it was still common for dad to go to work and mom to stay at home. Do you know the back story to this ad? Well, I don’t, but I’m going to make it up. Mom got really fed up with the twins Bob and Bobette from staying home all Summer. She had to take Bob to the pool and Bobette to the mall far too many times. She had to deal with their incessant whining about how bored they were. So Mom whined and complained to Dad who took three days off throughout the Summer to go golfing and took Mom and kids on a one-week trip to Atlanta to see the CNN studios. So, for the first few weeks in August, Mom’s been yelling at Dad for letting her have a crappy summer. Well, after all the yelling Mom makes a decision. “I’m going with (insert girl’s name) to the (insert expensive spa’s name) for the day. You can take the kids to get their school supplies.” Dad is so happy because now he knows he’s getting some that night since Mom’s going to be all relaxed. And since the kids will be in bed, annoyed that school is starting, he knows they won’t be bothered. I’m sorry, what do you think of?
My Favorite Things: Julie Andrews. Nazis. Yeah, where’s the Christmas connection here? No one has successfully convinced me that Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens are presents people want for Christmas. The only remotely Christmas item mentioned in the song is “brown paper packages tied up in strings”, which, nowadays, sounds like you bought some fish from Kroger. Snowflakes are mentioned I think in the song. It’s not like the roses or kittens are being given. It’s just the raindrops that are on the roses or the whiskers on the kittens that the singer likes. Seriously, how much is Julie Andrews paying for this song to be played on the local radio stations. Shoot, Pandora doesn’t even play it on their site in my Christmas station and I have enough songs on there to let every Christmas song be played.
Santa Baby: Well, except this one. I can’t stand Eartha Kitt or Madonna telling Santa to come to their smutty bedroom. It’s just ridiculous. I had a co-worker who loved this song just for Mz. Kitt’s sultry voice. Personally, it sounds like a desperate attempt to get it on with an old fat man. There is nothing sexy about it. She ain’t calling me and I ain’t wearing some big fat suit so I can pretend that. I have a lot better things to do with my time (like write my blog.)
And now that I’ve successfully ruined hopefully at least 1 of 5 Christmas songs for you, tomorrow, I may do some that I actually like. I know, I know, this one was more fun to write and read. But hey, it’s Christmas. And Christmas is about giving. And I’m hopefully giving you some joy to your day.
Useless trivia today:
Yesterday’s topic was 10 things I wanted people to know about my mom. What item did I miss that she loved to do and actually won awards for at the Ventura County Fair that would have replaced number 10?