What’s the Stupidest Thing You’ve Ever Said?

Come on, that’s one of the greatest titles I’ve come up with. And as much as I’d love to talk about Survivor, the NFL draft, Lost, last night’s awesome episode of The Big Bang Theory, or the writers symposium I’m going to on Friday and Saturday, there was one event that happened this morning that beat out all other topics.

I carpool to work with a neighbor of mine, Mike. Nope, no anonymity on this. He knows I’m writing it, so it doesn’t matter one iota that I’m using his name. Anyway, we’re driving on the I-15 and we’re approaching the 215 interchange when Mike says “See-ell-ess-dee?” He was definitely confused. I asked what he said, maybe I’d misheard him. He repeated “see-ell-ess-dee.” I was thinking it was on a license plate. You know, some 60s hippy saying that they want to “See LSD” or something. Not like that made sense, but it was the only thing I could think of, besides, what else can LSD mean? Well, I asked him where he saw that and he said to me, “On the sign back there. Right lane C-L-S-D 215 On Ramp.”
My response? “Oh…closed?” Wow, did he feel like an idiot. It was awesome. If I was Bill Engvall, I would’ve said “Here’s your sign!” But I’m not cool enough to act like a Texas redneck.

Come on, you know you’ve said stupid things in your life. Everyone is prone to it. Shoot, I’m not immune to it. Wow, sadly I can’t think of any that I’ve said (that’s because I block out those things). But let me think if there’s another example of something stupid someone said:

Like it was hard. In college, my roommate and I had a Chem lab together. At the end of the lab, we were cleaning up. I don’t recall the chemical compound that we were using (it had a bluish tint to it). So, as we were cleaning, one of the other students was washing his flask out when he noted the water that was leaving the container. “Wow, it’s coming out purple!” My roommate replied “That’s because we were just using (blue chemical with enough red compound to cause the liquid to come out purple).” The guy gave him a glare and my roommate leaned to me and whispered “Here’s your sign.”

And this last story comes from my friend Casey. She and her husband Noah were at Baskin Robbins waiting on their order. In walks an old high school teacher. This woman is thought of by other teachers at our high school as very intelligent. She teaches the A/P (History I think) class. So, she says to Casey “Here to get some ice cream?” Of course, Casey replied politely and said yes. But she so desperately wanted to say, “Nope, just like the free pink spoons.” Here’s your sign.

Ok, so I hope I made your day a little lighter and funnier. If not, hopefully you smiled somewhere on the blog.

Of course, the answer to yesterday’s trivia was D. The Dodgers vs. the Angels. Duh! Of course, that’s been my prediction for the last 12 years. Come on! They’ve had the Subway Series. The Bay Series. Too many people thinking with their hearts want the Windy Series (Cubs vs White Sox for those who don’t know). There’s gotta be a Freeway Series someday. But I hope they come up with a better name for it (Apryl?).

Today’s awesome trivia question that no one cares about is in honor of national bagel day: What is my favorite bagel?
a) Cinnamon Sugar from Einstein Bros. Bagel
b) Cheddar Bagel from Smith’s/Kroger’s
c) Six-Cheese Bagel from Einstein Bros. Bagel
d) Four-Cheese Bagel from Bagel Rock Cafe in Ventura

Wow, I wanna run and grab a bagel now.

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2 Responses

  1. I picked the BoSox yesterday as it’s more likely to happen that way than with the Angels. Although an Angels/Dodgers WS would be pretty fantastic…except for the whole LAA bit (don’t even get me started there).

    Ah Bagel Rock…such fond memories.

    I have asigo bagels at home from Einstein (among other varieties). 🙂

  2. Um yeah, don’t get me started on the LAA either – ugh!

    The series should be the SoCal Swing. Or not.

    I thought your favorite bagel combo was peanut butter bagel with anchovy cream cheese and a diet coke. Go figure.

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