Ah, my favorite phrase from my sister Apryl. I love this phrase. I think it’s Newscaster Mantra to be honest. Bill Engvall put it best when he said something like “Don’t you wish you could get over things the way that newscasters do? You just look to another camera. ‘And the severed head was found in an elevator shaft.'” He turns his head. “‘Good news for egg lovers.'”
There are lots of things that I wish the newsmedia would get over. I mean, I’m still seeing articles on things that I stopped caring about a long time ago. Here’s a nice fun list for people.
10. Barry Bonds: Did he use, didn’t he? Well, there are two possibilities, either he did or he didn’t. Does it matter? Nope. Do I care? Nope.
9. Mark McGuire: Well he did use steroids. But he did state that it was all for healing. Of course, today there’s an article somewhere that I’m too over to look up about his brother saying that Mark was lying. I remember him saying that it was for healing only. I don’t know about you, but I kept hearing an echo of “I did not inhale” and “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” in my ear.
8. Haiti’s Celebrities: I think it’s tragic what happened in Haiti. I can handle the update on what efforts are going on to help this poor island nation. I can’t handle any more celebrities trying to get their moment on “Planet Look-at-me, Look-at-me” (As stated by Kat in “10 Things I Hate About You). Get over yourself. If we didn’t like you before, relief efforts aren’t going to help that image. I mean, I don’t see Charlie Sheen saying “I’m going to take pot to the poor Haitians.” I just don’t.
7. American Idol: You know what’s funny, I really haven’t been into this show. But for some reason, I’ve been watching it. Yeah, the dumb auditions are done (honestly, how cruel are those parents that say ‘you’ve got a beautiful voice’ to which Simon et al reply ‘fingers on a chalkboard would’ve been better’?) But seriously, I’m not watching for what the judges are going to say. I’m watching to listen to some good singers. Um…yeah….some of them do sing well. But Randy Jackson put it best when he said “Quit worrying about the judges and start listening to the singers.” So Paula left. Are you crying about it? So Simon’s leaving. His ego’s too big anyway. Plus the guy’s like a bajillionaire with his 20 shows and such.
6. Curling: Everyone’s favorite Winter Olympics sport that will be forgotten about 2 years from now. Everyone’s tweeting, facebooking, blogging, and article writing about it. I’d be more interested in hearing about the Curling Nationals in 2012. Why? Because that’s about as likely as watching a tv show called “Watching Paint Dry”.
5. Tiger Woods: I don’t get why he cheated. I mean, he’s got a hot wife (well had). And he cheats with some ugly chick. Maybe it was all about personality. Maybe the hot wife has none. But still, I’m over it. I don’t want to read about his life. Maybe if he came back quietly into golf and won the Masters. That’d be cool. His latest apologetic press conference: there’s too many, which one was last?
4. Jay Leno vs. Conan O’Brien: I mean, I did make a good stab at them yesterday. But honestly, I’m really sick of hearing them. I don’t think either one has ever made me say “That’s the funniest joke ever.” I don’t even think I’ve heard “that’s the funniest thing I heard today.” Shoot, I’ve never even watched either one of them on NBC’s late night show. Guess I’m not missing anything.
3. Michael Jackson: Didn’t he die or something? My boss asked me the day after it happened how Mary and I felt about that. (Mary’s my wife for those that don’t know.) Mary and I never really cared for him. I don’t think she could recognize half his songs. And I didn’t mind about five or six of his songs. But honestly, it’s not like Elvis died again. (Or got abducted by aliens like those awesome theorists have.)
2. Healthcare: Is there a problem with Healthcare? Yes! Should it be free? I personally believe that there’s a better solution than what was proposed. Should America stop caring about Healthcare reform long enough to watch Curling? Absolutely.
1. Author’s Whining: There’s this wanna be author that hosts this blog called Timothy Types TMI. I mean, this guy is a complete whiner. All he does it give his opinion about stupid things that no one cares about but enjoys reading. Also, I’m hoping he gets published just so he’ll quit whining about not having an agent and such. Gees! I mean, who isn’t thinking this.
Ok, the answer to yesterday’s trivia (which is going to be the last one for a while) is: German. Yep, Germany borders Belgium and has like a 1% native German speaking population on the Belgian side.
Today starts a new feature: I want your opinions.
What are you ‘over’? (My sister’s probably thinking, ‘My brother’s blog.’) But seriously, feel free to post your opinion here.