Ok, I’ve thought of this before, but I’m actually going to write it down and give it ‘character’ in more ways than one. My new goal (one that will never happen) is to be the host of Survivor: LDS Authors. Why? Who cares? I live in a make believe world in my mind where I’m actually cool. Deal with it.
Anyway, I’m combining two of my favorite things here: the television series Survivor along with, well, my joy in stalking LDS Authors? (I don’t know, whatever. This is a fun post, not a serious one. Again, I’m cool in my head.) And with that, comes Survivor: LDS Authors, which takes place in either Moab or Sundance. Depending on when it happens and where the weather is worse. (Note: worse weather = location).
Well, who do I have on my tribes, you may be wondering? Well, of course that’s what this post is about. Pretty much, everyone is getting some more advertising from me. Shoot, one of these people is actually not published. One day she will be, but she just fits the dynamic of this group. Anyway, without further ado, I give you the two tribes of Survivor: LDS Authors.
Brandon Sanderson: How can I not put in one of my favorite presenters? Will he be able to outlast the 19 other contestants with his witty repartee and separate the game from fantasy from reality? Hmmm…..
Aprilynne Pike: It was honestly difficult putting Brandon on the same team as Aprilynne. But, the other option I had in this slot was too big of a name and this tribe would be the ‘famous’ tribe just for having those two together. But Aprilynne is just as funny as Brandon. (Too bad, unless I’m way off, she’s pregnant and can’t do it. Again, this game is in my mind and she’s not with child there.)
Robison Wells: He’s a pretty funny guy. Wrote books mocking LDS culture, in a way. Well, not completely. But he does joke a lot. This tribe is sure to be laughing just from the first three people I named. Yeah, Robison’s books aren’t as big as his big brother’s are right now, but just wait to see the other tribe.
Sarah M. Eden: Well, ok, maybe this is should be the ‘Jokes-a-lot’ Tribe. Sarah Eden has personality, humor. Plus, she’s short and may be able to hide from people if they want to vote her out. “Where’d Sarah go? Did we already vote her out? Ok then, time to vote for ___” (Just kidding, Sarah).
J. Scott Savage: Another funny guy. His advantage: People won’t know whether to write Jeff or Scott when they want to vote him out. They’ll be so confused, they’ll probably vote out somebody else.
Josi Kilpack: Everyone I met that met her, loves her, thinks she’s awesome. Whatever. Either way, she’s a worthy member for this tribe. And the titles of her books make me laugh. (Or hungry, whatever.)
Jerry Borrowman: (I honestly didn’t know whether or not Jerry had a website for me to link to until I googled it for this blog.) Jerry is the token ‘old guy’ who’s also very cool. Honestly, listening to his comments during the class on internet marketing was enjoyable. Everyone will love him.
Annette Lyon: She’s bubbly, fun, and awesome. And….she’s a word nerd. Ought to make for an entertaining bunch.
Marion Jensen: (aka Matthew Buckley) He’s as hilarious as the rest. And, to top that off, he’s pretty random. I always enjoy some randomness.
Elana Johnson: I hope I linked to her blog. If not…oh well. Here is my special guest, up-and-coming author. Elana is awesome (per reading her posts to our writers group) and anyone who was rejected 180 times in a year and still was asked to teach about “Writing a Killer Query” deserves a spot on a tribe.
Well, that’s the Nephi Tribe. Now to my other tribe.
Stephenie Meyer: Um….duh! How can I not put in the current most famous LDS Author in the world. Really? Young women (and a lot of other women) would literally punch me if she didn’t make it on a tribe. But I couldn’t have her with Brandon Sanderson….the fame would be too high on that tribe.
James Dashner: What? You didn’t put him first? You didn’t bow to him and say “Here’s the prize for winning”? Nope, I’m not going to do that. If he wins Survivor: LDS Authors he needs to earn it. Now, if we put an endless maze as a competition for them to play in….
Jessica Day George: Now both tribes have fiery fun redheads. Jessica has a lot of flair for sticking to her opinion (just listen to her guest spots on the writing excuses podcasts this season.
Dan Wells: (You google Dan Wells and you get pics of some shirtless guy? Weird, strange, and random.) Speaking of Writing Excuses, it’s because of that ‘show’ that Dan Wells is not on the other tribe. Well, that along with the fact that his younger brother is there as well. Talk about auto-alliance.
Bree Despain: She seemed pretty chummy with Aprilynne at LDStorymakers. Hence the reason that she’s not on the other tribe. But, everyone that talked to her that I talked to seemed to like her. So, it follows that she’s a worthy member of this tribe.
Howard Tayler: (If he comes to my blog, I hope he notices how accurate I spell his name.) It was difficult putting the third ‘writing excuses’ member on the same tribe with Dan Wells or Brandon Sanderson. Reason I’m ok putting him here even though there may be an auto-alliance with Dan: Howard is most likely to vote every single person in this game off without meaning it personal because he’d be ‘playing the game’. At least, that’s my opinion. Plus, he’s got the best b.s.ing skills out of every person in the game.
Julie Wright: She’s funny and fun. That makes her a good addition. I don’t think I’ve seen her not smile. Maybe she’d smile getting voted out.
Brandon Mull: Yeah, I’m putting him in this list a little late. Regardless, we’re talking about someone whose fame is pretty high. He actually makes this tribe one with the ‘bigger fame’ along with Stephenie, Dashner, and everyone else.
Rachel Ann Nunes: My wife loves her books. She’s very original. (And pregnant, so there’s a problem there again.) But Rachel is normally funny and smiling as well. She and Julie would have a good alliance if all they had to do was smile.
David J. West: And the final member of the Moroni tribe is a new up-and-coming author. Unlike Elana, he is already published prior to me posting this. But he’s a cool guy (and someone that I’ve gotten to know personally who is really cool.)
Wow! What a great set of two tribes. I mean, honestly, I’d watch it if they were to do it. Just to see them compete and vote each other out, it’d be pretty fun. So, who do I think would win? My top 5 candidates are: Howard Tayler, Sarah Eden, Jerry Borrowman, Marion Jensen, and Julie Wright. Why? Well, like I said for Howard, he’s most likely to play it as a game and not take anything personal. Sarah Eden and Jerry Borrowman are strong underdogs, which make them so likeable that they’ll win. Marion Jensen seems to be one with the ace up his sleeve and will calmly get to the end. And Julie Wright? I don’t know, just gut instinct. I know, I know, I didn’t say Dashner. But, like Howard Tayler once said during a writing excuses podcast: “This isn’t the James Dashner show”. Because of my fandom of Dashner, people would probably vote him out to spite me.
Who do you think will win? And why? Leave a comment below. If I had something to give away, I would. Maybe one day I can give away my book when someone else publishes it or I can get sponsors and give their books away. (hint, hint, wink, wink)
Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.