10 Things I Hate About You

(Before I get into today’s post, please go check out yesterday’s contest if you haven’t already.)

You know the movie with Julia Stiles (who my brother think is annoying and I think is kinda cute) and the kid from Angels in the Outfield and 3rd Rock From the Son (who ended up being Cobra Commander…how was he even on the list?) and dearly departed Heath Ledger (who was mourned by more people that didn’t know him than did). Well, it’s an awesome idea for today’s blog post.

What’s this one about, because we know, sometimes I move away from the assumed topic. Well, let me give you an example of what I’m going to be referring to. Dr. Percy Cox on Scrubs went through random ramblings during the show’s 8-year run. (I do not count season 9 as Scrubs.) Well, he would go through things he hated more or less than whatever J.D., Eliot, Carla, Turk, Kelso, and/or Jordan said to him. (One of the things he hated most was Hugh Jackman.) So, I’m going to go through 10 things that I really can’t stand right now.

10. Any Basketball Fan Who Liked One Team Until They Got Kicked Out of the Playoffs And Then Joined Boston’s Bandwagon: Yep, I’m a Laker fan, deal with it. But, that’s not what’s bothering me. It’s all the people that were joined Boston’s bandwagon and called them the Cinderella team. I’m sorry, how were they even remotely a Cinderella team? If the #8 ranked Golden State Warriors had pushed past the Jazz and then Spurs to make it to the Finals in 2007, they would have been a Cinderella team. If the Houston Texans and Detroit Lions play each other in the upcoming Superbowl, they’d both be Cinderella teams. Boston was the 2008 NBA champions. They’re also have the most NBA titles. Gee, that’s what I call a Cinderella team. (There’s more to this one, but I’m going to move on.)

9. Utah Drivers: Now that my friend Erin has traveled through the majority of the states this past month, she had one state above all the others she went to and named as the worst drivers: Utah. I laughed when I saw my friend Jeremy post an article about Utah being named the worst drivers from someone who had lived in Washington, Florida, and Southern California. I laughed even harder when one of his facebook friends said that 80% of Utahans were not Utah natives. How is that even possible? Yeah, I’m not a Utah native. My wife is. Most the people I live near are natives. So, I’m sorry, that doesn’t work for me…at all.

8. Stupid Authors Querying Agents And Wasting That Agent’s Time: Now, not every author querying an agent is stupid. Believe me. There are some legitimate people out there. I wrote last week about Sara Crowe following me on Twitter and some reasons for that, one of which included my sarcastic reply to her complaint of someone starting a query with “Yo, Sara.” There is an awesome site called SlushPile Hell that makes me wonder if some authors are drunk or high when they query. I want an agent. How am I going to get one? I’m going to research each and every agent and try to create a query that is specified to them. My plan is to be bold…but certainly not overbearing.

7. Schizophrenic Weather: Yeah, I’ll permit the people of Utah to complain about weather in June. This was most certainly not what I’m used to either. Temperatures in the high 40s? Snow? Solitude still open for skiing this weekend? And the month is only half over. Plus, I understand that other states are having some random weather too lately. (Here’s hoping for good weather for my sister to go surfing and play golf more often.)

6. People Mad at Reality Shows: I was annoyed when people were upset that Sandra won Survivor: Heroes vs Villains. I rooted for her to win. Did  she do anything to get there? Yeah, enough to get to the end. One of the things about the game of Survivor is it is up to a jury to decide who wins. A warning that Jeff Probst (the host) is always giving the contestants is that the people on the jury have to like you/respect you enough to vote for you to win. If they’re that ticked off, then they’re not going to vote for you. Gees people! It’s not America’s vote…ever. This isn’t our game and the jury never gets it wrong. (I may not always be happy with the result, but I don’t blame the jury.)

5. Twitter Failing: It seems like every morning and every prevening (defined by Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory as the time between 4 and 6 pm) Twitter is failing. It’s my favorite time-waster website. Because of Twitter, I met the people in my critique group and a few other awesome authors. Because of Twitter, I have had been entertained by the outgoing personalities of Robison Wells, Sarah Eden, Josi Kilpack, and Marion Jensen. (Seriously, if you follow all four of them, you’ll get an entertaining ‘argument’) But when Twitter fails, it sucks. The Fail Whale being all fat jumps up there. Oh, and good note here that everyone needs to pay attention to: my friend Casey and I have officially unofficially named the Fail Whale “Bose“. So, if you see me referring to Bose, know that it’s the big whale that shows up on the screen trying to be carried by a half-dozen or so tiny birds when Twitter is overwhelmed with people enjoying the site. So start calling him Bose or I’ll be adding you to my list! I don’t know what that list is for, it’s just nice to have it when I can say “You’re on the list with no purpose!”

4. Grocery Stores Selling Soda: “It’s Summer! Let’s advertise our soda for cheap so that people by it and people like T.J. from ‘Timothy Types TMI’ buy it and can’t stop drinking it.” They suck! And their intelligent propaganda against me is working quite well. Don’t get me started on bagels and donuts.

3. People Who Are Good at Something and Get Overly Angry at Mistakes: Yes, you are human. I’m sorry, I know it’s a shameful thing to say, but you’re not perfect. No World Cup soccer player is going to hit every goal. No NBA basketball player is going to make every shot. No author is going to spell every word correctly the first time. You shouldn’t get made at yourself and beat yourself up over it.

2. BYU Fans Who Are Mad at U of Utah Going to Pac-10/12/gazillion: Am I a U fan? Occasionally. Am I a Y fan? Eh, kinda. See, I don’t take part in this bitter rivalry. It’s ridiculous. (I take part in Lakers vs Celtics, Chargers vs Broncos, Dodgers vs Giants/Rockies/Padres). You know what, the University of Utah is a good school with a great football and basketball program. This is huge for the publicly funded school. Is BYU deserving? Yes, but I’d much prefer if the Big-12 to pick up BYU and TCU since that conference has 10 teams. (And what’s with that, anyway? Big-10 has 12 teams and Big-12 has 10. Something’s wrong here.)

1. Justin Bieber:

Alien Abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.


3 Responses

  1. 1) How can anyone hate Hugh Jackman? That man makes me drool!

    2) Coming from one of (if not the most) schizophrenic weather states: at least our weather is never boring. And yes, we too had snow this month. 🙂

    3) — You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking. Has anyone seen my list by the way?
    — Uh, no Pheebs. What’s it look like?
    — It’s a piece of paper and it says “Ross” on it.

    4) mmmm bagels!

  2. I thought Idaho drivers were worse than Utahs, just saying’.
    I’m fine with UofU leaving. Cya wouldn’t wanna bya.
    Um, you know you don’t have to buy super cheap soda, right? 😉

  3. Yep – #10 makes me want to scream. I should add people who root for the Celtics because they hate L.A. since we’re all bleached blondes trying to get discovered by some agent. Meanwhile, we don’t work and just lay on the beach all day, then talk to our therapists, and then have a piece of lettuce for dinner before throwing it back up so we don’t get fat. *Oh wait, that’s the poser jerks that move here and think that’s what they think they are supposed to do.* <<– They came here three weeks ago but visited their auntie that lived here a few times so they *know* what L.A. is all about.

    Anyhoo – LAKERS! Back to back, oh yeah!

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