Rejected Children’s Book Titles

So my good friend, no wait, that’s a lie. Um….this person I stalk…no wait, that sounds really bad. Um…anyway….this author dude name Marion Jensen and/or his alter ego Matthew Buckley wrote on Twitter the title for a rejected children’s book title:

The Little Train That Could But Chose Not To

To which, my friend (HA! I feel like I can use this since my wife and I took her to lunch and didn’t kidnap her!) Sarah Eden replied with her own:

The Little Train That Thought It Could But Quickly Found Out It Couldn’t

After that, Don Carey added:

The Little Train That Could But Was Derailed By Insurance Regulations

Julie Wright chimed in this morning and said:

The Little Train that Didn’t Have a Chance

And then, the ever sarcastic and snarky (well, that can be seen as rude…oh well…I’m going to leave it in there) Robison Wells put up:

The Little Train That, Frankly, Couldn’t Care Less

I had to follow up with my entitlement-based title of:

The Little Train that Had Someone Else Do It For Him.

I forgot to call it “The Little Train that Could but Had Someone Else Do It For Him.”

Julie gave a rebuttal (I think it was to Rob’s) of:

The Little Train That Went to Summer School

Rob continued his “I’m pissed off at the world and this conversation is the only thing worth my time right now” attitude and put in:

The Little Train That–Oh What’s The Point!? Another Damn Boxcar Over The Stupid Mountain? Screw This.

Marion didn’t like that one by stating the most serious note here:

“Are you crazy? You can’t use the word ‘boxcar’ in a children’s book.”

To which Rob replied with:

“It’s not a children’s book. It’s a gritty contemporary piece about train’s inhumanity to trains.”

And I made the obvious conclusion for Rob’s earlier title suggestion with:

The Little Engine That Quit to Become a House For the Boxcar Children.

Also, Krista Jensen gave the great thoughts of:

The Little Engine That Gained the Trust of an Alien Race, Fell in Love, Then Turned on Its Own Kind To Save Them from Destruction

OR The Little Engine That Dances With Avatars

Marion gave an earlier thought of:

The Little Train That Tooted And Wasn’t Embarassed About It Because It’s Natural And Everybody Does It

Julie gave the best reply to it with of:

“So would that really be called Everybody Toots?”

What’s the point of this? Boring people use Twitter to enhance their worthless lives. But awesome authors, such as those I’m pretending to be associated with here, use Twitter to come up with deep philosophical debates over the contemporary. (Oh let me put in that Julie was jealous of me because I put in the Boxcar Children reference. Hmm….I made a witty reference, she’s a published author. Yeah, I can see why she’d be jealous of me and not the other way around.)

Anyway, it’s Thursday, feels like Friday, and I have a brace on my back that makes it difficult to breath and sit comfortably. Julie reminded me that it’ll be difficult to eat with. Yeah, I’m in just a bubbly mood today. Would rather…

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.


3 Responses

  1. The Little Train that was Exiled Due to too Much Wax on the Tracks.

  2. Oh, what an awesome Twitter conversation! How I heart Twitter . . .

  3. “The little train who thought she could but never could get to the end of the track because of the BIG cinnamon roll in her way.”

    “The little train never had a chance.”

    “The little train who came late to the twitter party and missed the whole deal and felt sad and commented instead”

    “The little train whose titles are too long, nobody will ever read the actual book.”

    Little baby train to the Mama train-
    “Choo-Choo. I am going to be BIG and strong when I grow up. You wanna know why Mom?
    “Why, dear?”
    “Because I am going to eat all me vegetables and that will make me big AND strong.”
    Sidenote: Since when do trains eat vegetables? My brain is a little off track today.

    “The little train who missed the track altogether and crashed in the mountain instead.”

    “The little train who got down the tracks FAST because inside the train was the SUPER ULTIMATE energy–Dr. Pepper.”

    I heart Twitter too.

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