As I get close to finishing the 4th version of my book, I keep getting feedback that makes me feel like I can’t write worth a darn and I should give it up. My brother-in-law gave me a comic strip once of a computer talking to this guy. The computer says “Listen, I deleted all that so-called creative writing you did last night. I mean, come on man. Let’s stick to accounting.” I’ve always laughed at that comic. I have it posted in my cubicle. But lately, I’ve been wondering if the comic is right. Should I just give it all up?
I’m not trying to write a “poor me” post or anything here. I’m not talking about patience. I’m not talking about practice. I’m referring to talent. I’ve never questioned my ability to be creative. But I’ve always questioned my artistic ability. Writing is an art. It takes a preciseness to bring across the proper details and themes. Do I have what it takes? I don’t know right now. I’m in a self-doubt/questioning phase. I’m really having difficulty finding the motivation to just finish this version of my story (thanks to someone who stole my muse, still don’t know who that is.)
Part of me wants to give up. Part of me wants to push through. Part of me thinks I’ll never get this book published. Part of me thinks it’ll sell enough for me to get recognition. How many parts of me can there possibly be? How much more of this can I take? And it seems like when I have the time to work on my book, I lack any sort of motivation to do it. And when I should be doing other things, my brain decides “time to write, right?” Maybe I should write a book about ‘whining’ I seem to be good at it.
I’m just in a finicky place right now. I’m not feeling much affirmation, which is always nice to get, but I’m not feeling it. Not even self-affirmation. So what do I do? Do what I’ve convinced myself I should do: not give up because that’s all I used to do when I was under 21. Now is not the time for me to give up. There will hopefully never be a time that I give up. I sit and look at other authors and realize that their lives still aren’t all fun and games in the writing world. Some have these fantastic lives that I envy. Others are just awesome people trying to make it in a big writing world. Obviously this business isn’t for everyone. But I’m going to do my best to make sure it’s for me!
How’s that for motivation?
Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.
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