Yes, this taking a lame stab at Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be a Redneck if…” jokes. But you know what, these are so true that I find them humorous.
You know you’re in the revision process when…
You’re reading a professionally prepared textbook and want to yell things like “Comma splice!” or “‘You’re’ not ‘Your!'”
You’re reading a non-self-published book and say “How did they miss this?”
You’re reading a self-published book and ask “Why didn’t they let me go through this with a red pen?”
You’re wanting to edit what everyone else is saying.
You go somewhere and see a sign and think “if they said ____ instead, it’d be clearer and more concise.”
It takes you five times to write a blog post because it just isn’t ‘right’.
You avoid talking to others because they know you’re in the editing process and if someone asks “how’s the editing going?” you’re afraid you’ll strangle them.
You seethe when another author says “Done!”
You close your eyes and all you see are words and commas floating around.
You do anything you can to avoid being with your manuscript.
Time to get back to editing (at some point). As always,
Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.
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