Yep, you see the topic and you’re not intrigued. But I assure you, you may enjoy this blog. If not, then you didn’t waste too much time. “Why’s that?” you may ask. Well, I’ll tell you. It’s me that’s writing. And what’s more worthy of your eyes and time than my blog? Nothing. (Yeah, there’s no narcissism or arrogance here or anything.)
So, here are a few complaints, suggestions, questions, and other ramblings for the important sports leagues out there.
Complaint for the NFL: Your season is far too short. Seventeen weeks just doesn’t cut it. It’s literally four months. Basketball starts near the end of October and goes through the middle of April. That’s near six months. Hockey overlaps for about the same amount of time. Baseball goes from April to October. All I’m asking for is two more weeks. That’s not a lot, is it?
Suggestion for the NFL: Three strikes = Castration. Enough said.
Complaint for the MLB: Please cut your season by one week and add another round in the playoffs. I mean, four teams from each league playing for the World Series bites. There’s really no ‘upset’ when you have the sole wild card team going to the World Series. Besides, the Yankees may like it better if they could be in the playoffs every year. (Even if I hate that idea.)
Complaint for the MLB: Random drug tests. And when I say random, I mean daily. I’m tired of rooting for Mark McGuire and then seeing “Positive for Steroids”. Shoot, I’m tired of rooting for anyone and seeing that. (I personally believe that Barry Bonds did take steroids, despite what he may say. Look at the man. Skinny in the nineties, huge in the 2000s? If it was fat, he would have hit grounders to the pitcher.)
Suggestion for the MLB: Realign your AL divisions. We’re getting tired of New York and Boston always being at the top. Either that, or put them in their own two-team division where only one of them can make it to the playoffs.
Complaint for the NBA: Your playoffs are too long. By the time the second round comes, I’m bored. Round one should be best 3 out of 5. Round two should be as well. Save the 4-out-of-7s for the Conference championships and the finals. And since I’m on the playoffs, you’ve got too much time for each round. If game 1 is on a Monday, game 2 should be on Tuesday, game 3 on Thursday, game 4 on Friday, game 5 of Saturday, game 6 on Monday, and game 7 on Tuesday. 1, 2, 6, and 7 go to higher rank team while 3, 4, and 5 go to lower rank team. Come on!
Complaint for the NFL: The Los Angeles area is in need of a team. Jacksonville and Detroit need to get rid of theirs. Gee, how hard is this. Now, before my sister starts putting up the “We don’t those f@#$ing Jaguars/Lions” signs, a mascot change is perfectly acceptable and they look like a new team. I mean Cleveland Browns becoming the Baltimore Ravens doesn’t seem too bad.
Reminder for the NHL: Still haven’t watched any of your games. Still don’t plan on it. (Even in 1995 when I tried to get into the NHL, it failed. But go L.A. Kings!)
Questions for the NCAA: 96-team tournament? Are ya nuts?
Complaint for the BCS: 16- or 32-team tournament. Wow! It’s amazing. People hate you, you realize that, right? Especially since Boise State and TCU played each other in a ‘bowl’ game. And after Utah’s impressive win in 2009, you are vain, prideful, and greedy and deserve to be a part of my suggestion for the NFL with one more strike.
Reminder for the Utah Jazz: I don’t think Satan’s going to need that sweater this year. Maybe next year?
Question for the Kansas City Royals: If we built you a stadium with a roof on it, would you move to Salt Lake? I mean, KC isn’t doing you much good.
Complaint for the St. Louis Rams: Move home!
Complaint for Brett Favre: Retire! Are you going to throw another interception at the end of a game in an NFC championship? I really hope you do if you get there. (You’re already a hall-of-famer becoming more and more like a hall-of-lamer.)
Complaint for the Los Angeles Dodgers: What the !@$%@#$%^%&^%&%$^%$^$^%$^#$&*#$$%%^ are you doing?
Complaint for the Los Angeles Lakers: Yeah right! Like I have a complaint for a team that’s so awesome right now! (Seriously though, don’t let the Thunder rattle you too much.)
I’ll be at LDStorymakers all day Friday and most of Saturday. I’ll post my thoughts on Monday. Until then…
Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.