What They Should Write

Here I am with some more musings from the inside of my complex mind. Because of some tweets recently, I saw an opportunity to tell people what to do. I mean, what’s more fun than bossing people around. Okay, not really, but I’m entertained by this. So, here is a list of authors and the books I think they should write.

Janette Rallison – Lady of the Bracelet: One Bracelet to Rule the Mall – It just seems to fit with her My Fair Godmother and its sequel, My Unfair Godmother. (This thought was the inspiration for this post.)

Marion Jensen – Superdad – I don’t know what he can do with it. I just think he should write it.

Julie Wright – Genre Jumping: A How-to Guide for Switching Up Your Style – Just because jumping from romance to YA-Sci-fi is about as big of a leap as it can get.

Randy Tayler – How to Lose Friends and Insult People – Why? Because. Follow him long enough on TWitter and it’d make sense. He could co-write it with this next author even. (Yes, he’s not published, that I know of, but this just fits.)

Robison Wells – Complex – What a title! What does it mean? No clue. Just like I have very little clue as to what Variant is about other than the fact that its cover is awesomesauce and its storyline is fairly mysterious.

Sarah Eden – Redheaded in England  – Of course it fits in her Regency romance genre. Some Irish chick decides to go to England. Falls in love with someone…blah blah blah. The title just suits Sarah, that’s all.

Annette Lyon – Living Without Chocolate – Our main character here is dared to go 30 days without a bite of chocolate. Oh the withdrawals! Oh the cravings! Oh how mean!

Dan Wells – You’re Bacon – Serial killer with a weird catch phrase? Instead of “you’re toast” he says “you’re bacon”. Electrocution? Whatever. Bacon and serial killers: two things Dan seems to know best.

Robison Wells and Annette Lyon – Wherefore Art Thou Migraine – A humorous look at tweets by people who want to kill someone because their head hurts so bad. (Note: Rob will take the misconceived “where” section while Annette will hit the true “why” section.)

Josi Kilpack – Chocolate Chip Cookie – Come on! It’s obvious. She’s got a tart, a trifle, a cake, a pie, a crumble, and a roll. (I also know what she’s got coming, unless she convinced someone to switch her mind.) So it’s everyone’s favorite basic dessert!

Sounds good right? Ready, write! Okay, they’re probably all yelling at me: Go EDIT!

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

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Top 10 Favorite TV Sitcoms

…for now

Yeah, this is an odd list because I’m sure it’ll change over time. But I just felt like talking about this topic and figured it was worth a break from revisions.

10. Samantha Who?/Better Off Ted: Both shows were awesome! Both shows were on ABC. Both shows had great 1st seasons. And both shows got snubbed during their second season. 😦 They were both funny and both awesome. And I blame ABC for putting them in the wrong time slot, which led to their removal. But I put them both as #10 because they are equal in many ways.

9. Keeping Up Appearances: British comedy can be hilarious. This one I just view as the best. Why? Because you’ve got this random lady who tries to act like she is high class instead of the middle class woman that she is. And you know, high class woman have no problems. Too bad, our dear Hyacinth always does. This show may not always be classy, but I would define it as classic.

8. Hogan’s Heroes: Another classic show. The thing that makes this show so awesome is clueless German Nazi leaders with a group of American soldiers stuck in an encampment, run by the Americans of course.

7. Mike & Molly: Yep, I don’t watch it all the time. But I haven’t watched one yet that I wasn’t laughing during. Great cast. Great writers. And I hope the greatness continues.

6.  M*A*S*H: I don’t know if M*A*S*H counts as a sitcom, but it definitely had a lot of hilarious moments. I didn’t like the first half of its finale, but the rest of the show was pretty dang awesome.

5. The Cosby Show: a) It’s a classic. b) I’m a child of the 80s and the Huxtables were cool. c) You’re talking about a show that really was about everything that is good in this world in a way.

4. Friends: This is a classic of the 90s. I have watched Friends so many times I can quote it and challenge anyone to a game of Friends Scene It. I really couldn’t care less what people think of me. This cast was phenomenal in the ability to work off one another.

3. I Love Lucy: The first lady of comedy. How do you not respect that? Lucille Ball was one of my mom’s favorite actresses. I Love Lucy was my mom’s all-time favorite show. And having grown up in a household that watched I Love Lucy religiously, even though we knew what would happen. Shoot, if they created an I Love Lucy Scene-It, I’d challenge people to that one.

2. Scrubs: I love Scrubs. I have no problem admitting it. If you don’t, deal with it. I see myself like J.D. a lot. My cynical sarcasm is commonly on par with Dr. Cox. It’s like watching a show based off what goes on in my head. And even though it should’ve ended in season 8, the writers did a great attempt with season 9. The characters were still good. Yeah, I missed Carla and her attitude, but the show was by all intents and purposes funny.

1. The Big Bang Theory: Yes, this is my favorite show right now. The comedy is awesome. Jim Parsons defines hilarious. Kaley Cuoco is honestly the worst actor in this show and she’s still awesome in the role of Penny. Her reactions to Parsons, though obviously staged sometimes, are what real people would do and say. It actually seems natural. My wife and I own the first 3 seasons and I am looking forward to season 4 on DVD and excited to know that seasons 5-7 are in contract! More Big Bang! Yay!

What shows do you like/love/live? Or what do you think about the 10(11) I named.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

My 10 Favorite Disney Characters

As I was writing this post, I learned that three of my favorite writers (based off personality since I’ve only read one book written by one of them) have a new weekly podcast. Honestly, with Robison Wells, Sarah Eden, and Marion Jensen how can you go wrong? Well, you can’t. They’re all awesome. They’re all hilarious. So go check this out! I’m excited to be listening weekly. You should be too.

Now back to your regularly unscheduled programming…

I haven’t done a Top 10 Day in a while. So, I’m going to look at Disney for a moment. It’s a cultural icon. My mom was a big fan of what Disney put out. My wife is a big Disney person (seriously, if you want a challenge on Disney Trivial Pursuit, please come visit so I can get a good laugh.) But instead of a countdown of a top ten, I’m going to define 10 categories and name a favorite to go in that category.

1. Favorite Dwarf: Doc. Easy reasons here: Doc is intelligent, a born leader, and, well….cause everyone else seems to like Dopey and Grumpy. People seem to have issues with Happy. Everyone associates with Sleepy. I hate being Sneezy. Bashful is too….red faced. So yeah, Doc.

2.  Favorite Hero: Aladdin. Kind of a difficult connection, but I’ve always envied Aladdin for the magic lamp. I would love three wishes. Just having my number one wish involving being a published author would be nice. (And by published author, I would have a specific way of wording it so I get what I want.) But I like that Aladdin learns, despite his wishes, he’s still who he is. And that’s the person that Jasmine fell in love with.

3. Favorite Comedy Relief: Genie. Honestly, you’ve got to go to Aladdin and the King of Thieves for the best comedy as Robin Williams puts his all into the Genie character. The third movie in the Aladdin trilogy was honestly movie theater worthy.

4.  Favorite Sidekick: LeFou. I’ve always thought of myself as the short sidekick. (Unless I was on a crime fighting team with Sarah Eden, then I’d be the tall sidekick.) If I actually were put in a role in a movie, I’d probably be the eager, apprentice-like, moronic sidekick. Yeah, I’m pretty honest about me.

5. Favorite Magical Character: Merriweather. Who wouldn’t want her as a fairy guardian? She’s gonna give you everything you want and do it with her funny little voice. Plus, everything’s blue.

6. Favorite Villain: Malificent: Honestly, she’s got to be one of the most powerful beings in any Disney movie. That’s why she’s the last you battle during Kingdom Hearts.

7. Favorite Hundred Acre Wood Character: Tigger. Growing up, my mom put a personality onto me and my brothers from Winnie-the-Pooh. My oldest brother was Winnie-the-Pooh, my older brother was Eeyore, and I was Tigger. I had a few Tigger items given to me once that ‘connection’ was made. However, Mary is ten times the Tigger fan that I am. Honestly, you should see the Tigger collection. Getting rid of some of it, that’s been difficult.

8. Favorite Traditional Character: Mickey Mouse. Ok, so you’ve got a few options in ‘traditional.’ Mickey, Goofy, Donald, Daisey, Minnie, and Pluto. I’d give you Huey, Dewey, and Louie. But for me, I think I go back to Mickey Mouse. Donald is a close second, but I really think there’s something about the character that is the Disney icon.

9. Favorite Princess: Belle. Yes, I have a favorite princess. FYI, my mom brainwashed me into liking her. I went to Disneyland once with a couple of friends. I was bummed because my ex-girlfriend had just broken up with me. Well, I was determined to have fun. So, when we saw the princesses waving at the little girls at Disneyland and taking pictures, I told my friends “Hey, I’m gonna go propose to Belle.” So I went up to her and asked if I could take a picture of me proposing. She agreed (probably reluctantly). But, I’ve got a nice geeky picture of me proposing to Belle. And you don’t.

10. All-time Favorite Character: Heimlich. “Ooo….Candy Corn, let me help you to finish it.” “Yoo-hoo, Mr. Early Bird, how about a nice tasty vurm on a shtick.” “Finally, I’m a beautiful butterfly!” “But I am flying. And from way up here, you all look like little ants.” Yep, gotta love the fat caterpillar.

So, hope you learned something today. Pick one of the categories and tell me who your favorite is and why.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

10 Favorite Survivors That Didn’t Win

Ok, the Survivor finale is upon us and it’s been a while since I wrote a Survivor blog. It is, after all, my favorite tv show. And that’s why it’s so important to analyze this topic.

First, I’m going to specify what qualifies for this honorary spot. (Come on, it’s one of my top 10 lists, of course it’s honorary.) They had to be in at least the final 4 or be in the final 5 that was featured in the final episode (like Survivor: Cook Islands).

10. Rupert (Survivor: All-Stars): He was, at that time, one of my favorite Survivors. (Stupidity ruined him and the heroes in H vs V. And you know what, Sandra prediction when she voted him out was so poetic and awesome.) Rupert got screwed over in Pearl Islands. His return to Survivor and alliance gave him a good shot to the end. And then he got screwed over by a chick named Jenna who feared a purple rock.

9. Yau-Man (Survivor: Fiji): No one was more awesome at being ‘old man on the island’. His vote out at the final four was one of my least favorite moments in one of Survivors worst seasons.

8. Jeri (Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains): The original black widow. Yeah, she got 9th in All-Stars, but she got revenge on Colby and Tina in All-Stars. Then she got revenge on Boston Rob in Heroes vs Villains. Can we get a Survivor: Masters where she can get revenge on Russell? (And see Sandra win a 3rd-million dollars?) But, Jeri was very likable in Heroes vs Villains, even as a villain.

7. Stephen (Survivor: Tocantins): Before that final tribal council, I was rooting for Stephen to win. Seriously, it was like a breakup to the Stephen/JT bromance. But, Stephen used his wit to get to that final tribal. He didn’t use his physical prowess, believe me. Did you see him run?

6. Terry (Survivor: Exile Island): Terry got screwed over. Well, kinda. He saved Danielle. She screwed him over. He would’ve won if he kept winning immunity. (He was a little whiny in the end and I doubt Aras would’ve voted for him.) But still, Terry was a good possibility of winning the game.

5. Eliza (Survivor: Vanuatu): Seriously, she should’ve won just because of her eyes. Getting screwed over in Vanuatu wasn’t cool. And honestly, why don’t people like this chick out there? Just cause she’s smart enough not to get a boyfriend out there (of course, it worked for Parvati, but that chick just flirts with anything that moves.)

4. Cirie (Survivor: Exile Island & Survivor: Fans vs Favorites): A final 4 finish and a final 3 finish for this woman who claims that all she did was sit on the couch most days. Come on, how is Cirie not awesome?

3. Elizabeth (Survivor: Australia): Yeah, I know that a lot of people look down on her for being a right-wing-Republican. Of course, I’m mostly right-wing myself, but that’s not why I liked Elizabeth. She was sweet, kind, and mostly innocent during her game. Many people wanted to see her win that final 4 immunity. Also, she’s the only contestant in the final 4 to make it 39 days and not be on the finale. Just a thought. (Stupid 42-day season.)

2. Amanda (Survivor: China and Fans vs Favorites): Back-to-back Survivors. Back-to-back final tribal councils. 78 straight days of playing Survivor. And back-to-back losses. Honestly, one reason I like Amanda so much is that my four-year old (who was 2 during Fans vs Favorites) would see Amanda on the screen and say “Daddy, it’s Amanda!”

1. Rob Cesternino (Survivor: Amazon): I picked Rob to win from the very beginning of the game. And he almost did. He’s dubbed the ‘smartest player not to win’ the game. Nothing in me disagrees with that. Rob has always been one of my favorite Survivors. But I’d never want to play the game with him. For some reason, I’d fear him stabbing me in the back.

I’ll get back to writing about writing. But I’ll have to worry about that later. I just wanted to talk about Survivor so you didn’t forget about my love of the game I will probably never play since I’m not sexy enough for them.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

10 Real Books to Not Read

So, my good friend Tamara Heiner (can I call someone I hung out with for about 4 hours over a period of two days a good friend? Oh well, we’ll see) enjoyed my list of 10 books that I don’t ever want to read that aren’t written. I’m going to add ‘yet’ to the end of that sentence.

Ok, so we all have books that we say “I’ll never read that” toward, but on the same token, some of them aren’t really noteworthy. I mean, honestly, I’m not going to ever read anything in the Harlequinn romance where the cover just screams sex. I’m good. No, I’m talking books that exist that you’re sitting there thinking “Who had too much to drink the night before this got put on their desk?”

So, I had to research this. I had to find books that really caught my attention.  I found a list on Amazon for the worst books ever written. And honestly, I was surprised by this person’s list, which included the following: The Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks, The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan, The Wizard of Oz by L Frank Baum, and The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. (I think his hatred was toward books with “The” in their titles.) Seriously? First King of Shannara was worse than Sword. I’ve heard the same about Jordan’s prequel. And I’m not touching the others. Just don’t think they’re deserving of such a title. But, everyone’s a critc right?

Including me. This just meant that I had to do more digging. I think the author/author(s) in my list actually tried to make a point with his/her book. And that point isn’t “media attention.” I measured (judged, whatever) that each author had less than 85% “media attention” as the reason they wrote their book. (With #1 being the exception because…we’ll you’ll see.)

10. Here’s the Situation (with some other words in its title) by Mike “The Situation” Torrentino and Chris Mills: Ok, this heinous idea for a book definitely deserved a spot on this list. Why? Well, to start, he’s not a WWE wrestler. Second, wait, do I really need to be reasoning out why someone who refers to himself as “The Situation” shouldn’t ‘write’ a book.

9. Eragon by Christopher Paolini: I saw the movie for this one too. I thought it was good, until I realized that I’d already seen the movie. About 20 years earlier. It was called Star Wars. This isn’t original. It’s just moving one thing from Sci-Fi to Fantasy. Seriously, I can go take Mistborn and copy it into a sci-fi world on spaceships and totally rip off Brandon Sanderson. Brandon’s cool and undeserving of such a stupid thing. But the thought is the same. (Coming soon “Metalcontroller” by me. Ok, not really.)

8. Twlight by Stephenie Meyers: I respect Stephenie Meyers for making it big. Unlike J.K. Rowling, after seeing the movie I have no desire to read the book. Edward bugs me with his “I can’t really speak without a British accent, so I’m going to speak slowly and softly throughout the movie.” And with no plans to read Twilight, you can rest assured that none of the SAGA comes with it. (Still need to see Vampires Suck, by the way.)

7. Anything by Danielle Steele: No, that’s not a title. Just a fact. I’ll be reading Pride & Prejudice (with or without zombies) before I’m reading her trash.

6. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray: This was written by a guy? Really? Better, who cares? I don’t. There are some obvious differences between men and women. There are some subtle differences. Do we really need a book to help us say “Women, now you can understand men” and vice-versa? No. Why? Because it’s like saying “I now understand all Utahans because I live in Utah.” That’s not possible, because amazingly enough, WE’RE ALL DIFFERENT. Idiot!

5. Mommywood by Tori Spelling: Or anything else this chick’s written. Correct me if I’m wrong (because I didn’t watch it very much) but wasn’t Donna the rich ditz of Beverly Hills, 90210? Yeah, I’m pretty sure she was.

4. Star: A Novel by Pamela Anderson: A novel? Really? You have to specify that this isn’t a ‘how-to’ guide? Better question, why was their a sequel? I’m going with 84% on the media attention scale. Her agent obviously saw a dumb blonde and thought, “how do I take advantage of this?” but honestly, who really wrote this. I’m curious. I doubt it was Pam herself.

3. I Just Want You to Know by Kate Gosselin: Honestly, this was going to be #1. However, I felt that there was an ounce of sincerity to the title. Even so, self-publish it 8 times and give it to your kids for Christmas. Those who buy the book must also religious watch Desperate Housewives and Days of Our Lives (now if Alison Sweeney from Days of Our Lives/The Biggest Loser wrote a book, that’d be different.)

2. Modelland by Tyra Banks: Are you kidding me? I mean, yeah, I’ll give you that Tyra is fairly attractive. But out of all the things for her to do, writing a book? Now, I’d be ok if the title of her book implied “pretty girl lost in horrible fantasy world.” But the title of her book implies “Come on Barbie, let’s go party” instead.

1. First Step 2 Forever by Justin Bieber: At least Tyra’s hot and not some douchebag tweenie wannabe who sings like LeAnn Rimes. No wait, that’s an injustice to LeAnn. Anyway, who is surprised that this is #1? If you are, read my blog some more.

As you well know, this list may as well have 200 books on it. I could go on. But I won’t.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

10 Things I Learned Last Week

So, last week was kind of a blur for me. I had a bunch of stuff going on, so I decided to share some of my insights from last week.

10. My friend Casey has a paper Voodoo doll of me: I solved this mystery finally on why I get dumb back aches and leg pains. Yes! Well, I have no proof of it, but we did compile an awesome 30 Uses for Paper list to be read here. Check out #4. #1 is actually my favorite, along with #24. Ok, now we’re sounding like combos on a McDonald’s Menu

9. Tweetdeck for Android Does Exist: I searched it when I first got my phone. Then I searched it again on Monday. Apparently it got released and I’ve been happier ever since. Yes, my life is that important (Yes, I know you read ‘sad’ instead of important. But it’s ok.)

8. It’s Almost NaNoWriMo: National Novel Writing Month. For the last two years I’ve said “Yeah, I should do that.” The last two years I’ve said “Nope, I’m in the middle of a book I don’t want to put aside.” I realized, most importantly that my test was last Saturday and that I can return to the writing world. Yay! (Go on, throw confetti.) And now I’m more excited with the time I have to prepare for NaNoWriMo and not studying anymore. My poor book has felt left out lately.

7. Burger Preferences Do Change: Moving to Utah, I was sad to lose In ‘n Out. There just wasn’t anything that compared. Someone created a fake In ‘n Out, got sued, and closed when the real deal arrived in Utah. And I was ecstatic. Just not for long lines. In the meantime, I visited a place called Five Guys Burgers and Fries. Yeah, there wasn’t any turning back. I finally visited In ‘n Out (which my dad thought was my favorite until last Saturday) and said to my self, “Nope, it’s Five Guys all the way.” So sorry So Cal, but there is something better. (By the way, I never liked your fries In ‘n Out.)

6. I Can Sell Fancy Drinks: There’s this awesome restaurant called Los Hermanos (please don’t say Loss Her-mon-iss, I’d seriously punch you. Up there with saying I’m from ‘Cali’. I’d rather hear your nails on a chalkboard) in Utah county. You can buy a t-shirt from them and get a free fancy drink. Well, a while ago, I did that. I haven’t eaten there much, but the shirt’s paid for itself by now. Either way, my dad’s wife’s son and son-in-law and daughter-in-law (I’m not sure I’m going to go with step-brother, step-brother-in-law, step-sister-in-law) were looking at my fancy drink and thought it’d be cool to try one. So I explained my aficionado opinion of the fancy drinks of Los Hermanos and the waitress told me I should be a waiter. I said, no, I’ll just wear the shirt and try the drinks.

5. Chocolate Pecan Pie is Good No Matter How it Looks: So, my wife’s family all know that I love to make pecan pie. It is by far my favorite pie. And I try to make it annually. I hadn’t made one in 2010 yet. Well, when I read an article concerning Chocolate Never Faileth and Annette discussed a Chocolate Pecan Pie, I knew I had to buy the book to make the pie. Well, I finally did and it looked atrocious, in my opinion. Being the pecan pie snob that I am, I was displeased with look. Well, Mary’s cousin from England took one bite and said it was great. So, I had to try it. Yeah, it was good. So good, in fact that everyone in the house had to eat it. (Thanks Annette!)

4. I Can Handle Change: My dad came up on Saturday with his new wife. Most of the week I was gearing myself up to getting ready for my kids to call my dad’s new wife “Grandma”. Yes, I love my mom a lot. Unfortunately, she’s been gone for 8 years. I do intend for my children to know who she was in any way I can. But my dad’s new wife is awesome and is willing to be a grandma to my children. I don’t want to pass that up.

3. Snow was in the forecast: Yeah, that just kinda sucks. I need more rain and more fall colors please. (Yes, Apryl, please stay away from this state unless you’re geared for snowboarding in the mountains. No sunshine-surf days here.)

2. Thursday, October 28 is National Chocolate Day: And I’ve convinced Mary to go and pay a visit to the Chocolate Cafe that afternoon/evening to party with Annette Lyon. There’s chocolate there, so the obvious “Partying Annette Lyon” style doesn’t need to be stated. Be sure to join the fun if you’re in Orem. I know a lot of you will be jealous of Mary and me. Plus, our cute kids will be there entertaining people since I’m sure my son will have chocolate everywhere.

1. The “Pacman” strategy: So, this was my favorite thing learned last week. In studying for my CMA exam, I learned about this little concept. Basically, I’m sure you’re all gonna be bored soon as it does relate to business. Basically, there are things that are called “corporate hostile takeovers” where one business tries to buy out another in a very forceful manner. Well, imagine Pacman is your business and the other business is the four ghost-like aliens chasing you. Yeah, the Pacman strategy is you eat the miracle dot and you get to eat your enemies. Bwahahahahaha

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

My Heroes

For some reason, I’m having a very strange day. A kinda emotional and personal day. Anyway, I saw the word ‘heroes’ on something and it got me thinking about people I view as heroes. I seriously have always looked up to people (probably because I’m one of the shortest guys I know.) But at the same time, I have contemplated more and more what makes a person my hero. Now, there are lots of people I admire and respect.

So, I’m actually not going to name drop today. (I know. I’m the biggest wannabe because of all my name dropping. Just not happening today.) But I am going to discuss a few people I view as heroes and what makes that person so special to me. There are 10 that I’ll talk about today so I can list it as a ‘Top 10’, except they’re not really top 10, they’re just a list of 10. (Note: While some of these people I’ve met from a religious experience, I’m staying away from religion in this post. Also, I’ve met all these people at least once.)

1. My oldest brother: Yeah, a lot of kid’s heroes are their dad. But when I was a little kid, my oldest brother was my hero. He was the coolest person I knew and I wanted to be like him. He was the leader of me and my brother, for whatever reason that was. It helped that if you looked at pictures of him and I from when we were both really young, it can be difficult to tell if it’s him or me. (Is my grammar correct here?) Anyway, I’ve learned that there was something about him being a hero that makes me feel naive, and sometimes, that’s the best thing.

2. My dad: What made my dad so special? Well, he raised me and put up with all my crap. Wow! Because of a back injury, he was out of work for a while. So he took care of the kids while our mom worked for a good amount of time. Well, he was an electrician, a doctor, a history professor, a taxi driver and a million other things that he never got paid for at our house. I’ve learned that he didn’t always have an answer to everything. But he did his best to figure one out.

3. My LDS Mission President: The man was patient. He was kind. And you could tell that he never stopped learning. I think that’s the thing that made him so great. He always seemed to educate himself in some way. And he always genuinely cared about the people he worked with.

4. One of the Assistants to the President (mission): This guy, for whatever reason, always made sure that he talked to me. Yeah, sometimes it felt like he talked down to me, as I look back at it, but I needed things to help uplift me during that time.

5. Another Assistant to the President (mission): I actually felt like he was my friend. I think that’s what made this guy so cool. Whenever I was around him, I felt like he was my friend. But I learned that he was willing to try and help me in whatever ways I needed while on my mission.

6. A male author: (Yep, you can say “Who could that be?” I’d be willing to bet that less than 10% of the people reading this would answer correctly.) This writer is awesome. His attitude reminds me of mine, sometimes. He’s humorous and knowledgeable of many aspects in the publishing world. His accomplishments are actually fairly reputable as well. I wish I could do what he’s done and what he’s doing. Seriously, as much jealousy as I could hold for him, though, I found a huge amount of respect for him that overshadows my jealousy.

7. Another male author: (Oh good, now it’s becoming easier.) This one is different from the previous one because of his humility. (Not that the first guy wasn’t humble.) He always seems willing to talk to people about whatever needs be. He appreciates his fans more than some authors seem to. And he seems extremely grateful for his position as an author. These attributes show every time I see him, and that’s what makes him so honorable.

8. A female author: (Yep, it’ll be difficult to figure out.) Solely for this woman’s knowledge and resourcefulness. Seriously, if I could figure things out and know them the way she does, I’d be awesome.

9. A friend of mine: This guy has patience of steel, humility of (not sure what shows strong humility), and kindness of (hmm…stumped again). Seriously, I don’t know how this guy puts up with so much. I really don’t But I respect him and wish I had all those abilities of his. (And I know you’re saying “But, T.J., you’re so kind and humble and patient.” To which I respond, “And sarcastic and cynical and greedy. Honestly, did you just meet me?” To which a few of you can respond, “Yes.”)

10. My maternal grandfather: Something that made him so unique, based off stories from my mom and aunt, is his knowledge of languages. My mom’s parents (notice the proper use of apostrophes, you offenders) immigrated from Hungary to the U.S. So, automatically, my grandfather spoke Hungarian and English. But he also knew many other languages. Rumor had it he could speak Hungarian, English, German, Spanish, and Japanese enough to carry on a normal conversation. Rumor had it that there were countless other languages that he was familiar with enough to be able to hold a useful conversation. My sister and I both hold this passion for languages. If only we could be like him.

Well, there’s my calm soothing post for those wanting something uplifting to read. If you’re not looking for uplifting, I’m sure there’s a post on here that’ll help with that as well.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.